I seen the diplodicus

and it seen me.

I took my friends to the science and to the natural history museum today. They were in town for weekend and that's what they wanted to see. That sounded fine, because I love it in the museums.
But I ended up feeling really sad though.
My lover, the guy I'm not seeing, who doesn't exist, and to whose family I do not belong, is bringing his kids up to London for the half term weekend. There were discussions about meeting him. Where, for how long, How in general?
One of the half crazed discussions was; how can I come with him and kid/s to the museums? How could I look non threatening, unnoticeable?
And of course it's not going to happen. Because it's insane.
So I found that looking round my favourite museums, with a happy couple in tow, surrounded by other peoples happy families, and boisterous children, killed me.

I was hoping that one of my friends was coming round this evening. No wait, I had arranged to see him, and he's let me down. Which is pretty much typical.
I am so sad though, and really could have done with a bit of company. Small hug. Gossip about something else.

I can't fake this

I snuggle up to you, purring like a cat, and ask you to hold tight to my hair.
you stroke your hand over my head ,over and over, stroking and smoothing.... wind your fingers into my tresses and pull tight.... You make me whimper and promise, I have to twist and turn and writhe to keep close to your hand- it's hurts- you lead me by my scalp...

Down on the floor on my hands and knees, you kneel beside me and press the flat of your hand into the small of my back, 'Arch your back', I do as you ask, lifting my ass up, opening myself and revealing her to you fully. At the beginning the force of the smack against my cheeks is a surprise. Again and again you bring your hand against me, hard, the sound reverberates through me before the pain registers. I can't ignore it, it hurts to much to get used to. Eventually the tears come but I don't ask you to stop. My glasses fill with salt water, I can hardly see out. When your fingers slap against her I begin to shake and cry.

Standing over me you feed your stiffening cock between my lips, over my tongue and force it down into my throat. You gaze down at my upturned face as I choke on you, thrusting into me, holding my head you smile down at me and force it further in.

Am I tear stained? mascara streaked? Does it turn you on to hurt me?

It should shame me to kneel like this. But it is pure joy to submit to you.

ouch

Ok so we can't be together.
Why?
five children and a pleasant woman.
200 miles.
few years.
a whole world.
ok. so we can't be together.

"sooner or later I'll have to do something 'bout the starvation"

Ok. I get it. I don't like it though
How could I be expected to like the thought of you giving it to someone else?
Do you enjoy thinking of me underneath another man?
Well then.

"I can't do it with you so......"

This may be a fact, but it does not make the first statement any easier to bear.

"If we were together , I would have expected you to be monogamous... probably unlikely eh?"

WTF? Are we try to damage the girl this morning?
Would it just be simpler to say; "You are a slut, I don't trust you"?
It would've been quicker to write for sure.
If that's what it's about and you're trying to hurt me and drive me away your choice of words could have been limited.
We could have condensed the whole painful incident into one easy text.
"I'm horny and you can't fix it. On to the next one then...."