something clean and sharp

I think about it, don't get me wrong
I know that it's crazy
But I think about it

I don't think about it to scare you
or threaten you
or make you feel bad

And I don't tell you because I want you to hurt either

I just crave it some times
when I can't get any other kind of release

I crave marks
just small cuts
sometimes patterns
on my ankles
and in hidden
out of the way places
around my body

I always sterilise first
and antiseptic afterward
I don't want to get sick
or anything like that

Sometimes I just want
to cut a small hole and let it all out