things I'm not allowed to do #1

take my antidepressants
have a hot bath
eat scrambled eggs
eat hummous

technology and communication

last incoming text: 17 hours ago
last incoming call: 23 hours ago
last incoming email: 51 hours ago

Yoghurt and Vegemite if you would good sir, with a spoon.
Yes, please?
With black olives and cucumber on top.

Something Blue

Apparently, ancient Romans wore blue as a symbol of love and fidelity. Why is this relevant I hear you ask? Ah, you see 'girl, interrupted' is presently planning the day when she shall become, 'girl, wedded'. (insert smiling here). Being as how I am not a very traditional or, incidentally, rich girl, my frock is what they euphamistically term (they=my marginally more traditional/mainstream girl friends) 'vintage', and blue. It's not silky or poufy or corsetted either; it looks like a pair of curtains was savagely dispatched in order that their hides could elegantly clothe the female form. Which they do, beautifully.
I was, however, becoming slightly unnerved by every picture of every bride everywhere being in a white frock and followed my natural response (question everything) to google, where I discovered that bridal gowns have only been white since Queen Victoria wore one, everyone else was just copying her. The way people go on you'd think it was decreed by god himself, but no, wedding dresses used to be whatever colour your best dress was, or if you were well monied, a nice virginal blue. Yes that's right, blue.
So.
I shant concern myself with that any more, I have plenty of other things that actually need attending to.

dear j*,

you are inspiring me a lot recently
i want to be brave like you, for you, for me and for the world

lots and lots and lots of love and hugs xxx

this month's therapy revelation

there is not only one right way,
there are many different ways.

wonderings

I have butterflies,
I'm over excited
and terrified

is adoration love?
is love adoration?

How can it be that someone who wants to talk to me,
who wants to have adventures with me,
who thinks weird things I like are weird and cool,
not weird and boring,
can make my heart sing?

I don't quite trust myself,
or the universe.

and all the while
gremlin drip feeds his emotive poison
'chloe' sends me suggestive quotes
sparky asks me to come and play
nemesis wants company

but I've asked 'him' to wait.
and he is.
His resolve is so much stronger than mine
(woah, palpitations)
I haven't waited since I was 15,
I'd never have imagined it could mean so much.

men- mainly distressing creatures,
can any of them be trusted?
is different, different enough?

how can anything that makes me this hopeful not be dangerous?